From Yakatat to McMurdo, this place is sumpim...
10-99 ... Latest update on C-17 landing at McMurdo.
News Release: Crews unload a C-17 Globemaster
from McChord Air Force Base,
Wash., Oct. 15 at McMurdo Station,
Antarctica. This was the first time a
C-17 touched down on the frozen
tundra of the Antarctic Circle. A first
for the C-17, this is part of validation
tests for future Antarctic missions.
COMMENT: No doubt that a PAO type wrote the above from his desk at McChord AFB without ever having been to the ice and not knowing anything about Antarctica, or that tundra does not compute in connection with Antarctica.
A herd of starving Yaks have invaded McMurdo Station after devouring the frozen tundra on the skiway at Williams Field. Observers on Ob Hill reported the herd of berserk animals came through the pass and descended on the NSF Field Party warehouse at about 1300 Sunday. By 1500 the crazed Yaks had devoured most of the field party rations including the entire stocks of sesame seeds, pickled beetroot and Fannies Secret Barbecue Sauce. When last seen the beasts were headed north and had just rounding Winter Quarters Bay Peninsula.
The Yaks were imported to Antarctica from Greenland by the NYANG in an effort to control the frozen tundra problem at Willy Field. Some usually reliable sources speculate that the tundra was really a hardy form of marijuana plant that had been cultivated by hydroponic methods by the civilian contractor Strip Rats. The Yaks ate the "tundra" just as planned, but after the vegetation ruminated in the four-stomach pouches of the Yaks the peculiar behavior started.
Neither the NSF Representative or the Air Force on-scene commander were available for comment.
An investigative team from New Zealand will be sent south Monday or on the next available aircraft. The team will consist of members of the New Zealand Safety Board, The New Zealand Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals and the Christchurch Police Department Street Crimes Unit.
In an interview in Christchurch with Detective Sergeant Minton, of the Street Crimes Unit, the detective made the statement: "There is definitely skullduggery ahoof in McMurdo."
More to follow as developments permit.
Now that an annual yak migration has been established, what effect will the accumulation of yak "by-products" have on the premature melting of the runway?
I can answer that question. There are several plans for the Yak byproducts. Currently these byproducts are being scooped up from the runway and are being stored until a final decision on their future use can be determined.
Several brilliant suggestions have been offered. One suggestion is to burn the byproducts and refine the resulting methane gas and use it for refilling spent JATO bottles. This suggestion has a lot of merit, but appears to violates the Antarctic Treaty moratorium on burning waste products. The articles of the No Burn policy does not specifically mention the elimination (no pun intended) of Yak byproducts. However the byproducts do fall (no pun intended) within the broad definitions of the No Burn documentation. A final decision on this suggestion is pending.
The suggestion I like the best concerns sending the byproducts to the Dry Valleys to be used in "packing" ceremonies. In the past personnel in the Dry Valleys were ruthlessly packed with any available material. Mainly Dry Valley Gneiss which is a gravel like substance has been used with mixed results.
This practice has caused mission critical delays in the Scientific Events of grantees. The substitution of the Yak byproduct should help to eliminate (no pun intended) the lost productive time of the grantees, GFAs and other support personnel.
Neither the NSF Representative or NYANG Commander were available for comment.
Detective Sergeant Minton of the Christchurch Street Crimes Unit who has been in McMurdo for two days and who has skillfully and successfully avoided being packed has released his official statement; "there is skullduggery afoot in the Dry Valleys". The esteemed detective demanded to be manifested on the next flight to the Dry Valleys after the first shipment of the Yak byproducts had been sent there. The NZSPCA Rep suggested that several Yaks be transported to the Dry Valleys.
More to follow pending receipt of next press release from DKS Rep McMurdo.
Billy-Ace Reporter, UPI, AP, RUETERS, and The MCMURDO SOMETIMEZ
Stringer for CNN, TASS, and the BBC
Tibbetts now downclosing Next sked zero dark thirty or thereabouts
( check Billy's eye in sky cam that the dude downpropstream was trying to empty a SHT cannister, a job he inherited in Newfy...)
Dear Mr. Greenpeace:
As usual Greenpeace has been grossly misinformed. The importation of the Yak herd into the Antarctic Tundra was accomplished by the NYANG as part of our ongoing Antarctic Maintenance and Beautification program which we sincerely trust will be in concurrence with the Greenpeace agenda. The US Navy had nothing to do with this mission and should be discouraged from taking any credit.
I have conferred with Detective Sergeant Minton, who is still recuperating from his recent inspection tour of the Dry Valleys and his only comment was; "there is skullduggery afoot where ever you go these days." The detective is continuing his investigation into the origin of the Tundra Gold which caused all the trouble in the first place. The local NZSPCA Rep concurs with the demands of Greenpeace and has asserted that these demands appear to be in the best interest of the animals.
It is requested that any further inquiries be directed to my office.
ZFH2 OAEs-and-FNGs, bvfd101
What the story failed to mention was the interference from radical groups that hampered efforts to sink the ship. Amidst all the fanfare was an armada of small craft hosting a large group of Greenpeace hippys and drug addicts, about six budhist monks and a small detachment of the Ground Zero contingent from Sub-basease Bangor. Just before the arrival of the submarine a tug boat towing a garbage barge arrived sporting a 13 piece "FRIENDS OF THE FILIPINOS" calypso band. With all the sign waving, rock throwing and shitcan beating it was very difficult for the submarine to get a clear shot at the hapless vessel. Authorities on the scene declared that the next time something like this happened they would get a C-130 Gunship to do the job.
Subject: US Marshalls
From what I have been reading in various sources there was a US Magistrate and Federal Marshals on the ice in the late 90s and I guess they are still there. What was the magistrates function? Traffic court, packing (ass) without a permit? Did the marshals ever arrest anyone?
Also was Detective Sergeant Minton, of the Christchurch Street Crimes Unit, deputized as a US Marshall when he deployed to McMurdo to investigate the proliferation of the Dry Valley Gold MJ crop or was he strictly acting as an agent of the Crown due to New Zealand's Ross Dependency claim? If the later is the case, was there any conflicts in jurisdiction? I.E such as who had jurisdiction over the contractor prostitutes who plied their trade out of the fish houses in McMurdo Sound.
When I was last on the ice NSFA had a large master-at-arms force who were famous for their gestapo tactics. There was even a jail cell located across the passageway from the Ships Store in Building 155. The cell was just a big iron cage that was mostly a deterrent that everyone had to pass by on their way to the store or to the chow hall. The only person I knew who was locked up in it was the faggot barber before he was sent off the ice.
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